Seeking Truth in Today's Troubled World

I have been a Christian for over 25 years and am just now starting to discover what that means. There was a time not too long ago that I believed that if I did the best I could, if I did the ‘right’ things, if I provided for my family, if I told my family that I loved them, if acted with love toward my family and friends, if I did my best on the job and acted professionally in all manners and situations, then that was what was expected of a ‘good’ Christian. I would have my bad days and my good days. I could come to God after my bad days and ask forgiveness for my mistakes (which were numerous) and be given Grace enough to wake up the next day and try again. I would have my good days where everything went swimmingly enough, and I could praise God for watching over me and providing direction for my life. If I did well, it was of God. If I did poorly, it was evident that I was working in the flesh because God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33) 

“What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” Romans 7:24 NIV 

I was on a roller-coaster, a merry-go-round, a life of ups-and-downs that I could not control. I was up one day, and down the next. I was on the right road one day, and the next I was on the road to sin and despair. It got to the point where I was questioning my own salvation on a day-by-day basis. Was I really a Christian? Was I really saved? I was not living the victorious life that the Bible speaks of. 

“For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.” 1 John 5:4 NIV 

This was the life that I was seeking, but the life that I knew very little about through experience. I was consistently, daily bombarded by memories of the past and the myriad mistakes/sins/embarrassing moments I had made both before and after I had accepted Christ into my life. I felt as if I was being bounced around, smacked around in a cosmic game of ping-pong and I was the ball. I was a double-minded man. 

“He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” James 1:8 ESV 

I was missing something. I was not living a life with the ability to overcome anything. I was defeated. I was striving, but I was striving in the flesh. I had yet to realize what it meant to strive in the Spirit. With no one to disciple me as a young Christian, I was left to my own devices. There was a time early on that I would just open my Bible to any random page and blindly. with eyes closed, place my finger on that page. I would then read the verse where my finger landed and that would be my ‘verse of the day.’ I believed that God would speak to me in this way. As you might expect that practice led to a lot of confusion for me as that type of ‘Bible study’ is no study at all. It provides no context, no application of any kind. Not too long after, I heard Chuck Swindoll give a sermon where he referred to this type of behavior as “spiritual stupidity.” Stupid, indeed. 

I believed that I was saved because the Bible told me so: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8 NIV 

That seemed clear. I was saved by grace, through faith. There was nothing I could do to earn this gift; it was given by God. All I had to do was believe. It was easy. I had punched my ticket to heaven. I was a child of God.  

Initially, I did see some changes in myself, in my personality that I could not explain. My anger and frustration that I used to carry around with me (pre-salvation) had inexplicably dissipated. I was more at peace than I had ever been in my life up to that point. I had a zeal for God that I could not fully understand. Yet, as I continued in my Christian walk, I found myself on this roller-coaster. 

And then I came across this verse: 

“Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but now even more in my absence, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God who works in you to will and to act on behalf of His good purpose.” Philippians 2:12-13 NIV 

How are we to work out our own salvation? I thought I was saved by the gift of God, not of works so that no one can boast? (Ephesians 2:9) What am I supposed to do to ‘work’ out my salvation? Wasn’t it a done deal? 

Yes and no. Once I accepted Christ into my life, I was saved. Pure and simple just as the Bible declares. That is justification. The Greek word ‘dikaiosis’ denotes “the act of pronouncing righteous, justification, acquittal.” Jesus Christ died as the propitiation for the sins of all mankind. Jesus was the atoning sacrifice for sin. Period. Point blank. 

That part was done. Over. Complete. Jesus said on the cross, “It is finished.” (John 19:30) 

What I was missing was the sanctification part. I was not growing in Christ like I should have been or even how I thought I was. This presents the balance between the sovereignty of God and the responsibility of man. Man has a very solemn responsibility to grow in Christ. 

Sanctification is my walk with Jesus as I learn more about Him, pray to Him and become more like Him. There are two things that are necessary for sanctification and growth in Christ that were conspicuously absent from my life for a long time. Bible study and prayer. Does that sound too simple? It is not. How else are we going to achieve the mind of Christ? To read and study His words and deeds throughout His ministry that are presented in the Gospels, and to pray to Him who intercedes for us to the Father on our behalf. That is the position He earned when He died, was resurrected and ascended into Heaven to be seated at the right hand of the Father. (Mark 16:19) 

I was living my life as best as I knew how. I was doing the best I could and none of it was ever good enough. I was trying to earn my place in heaven by being a good father, son, brother, teacher and coach. I was failing on all counts. Everything I was doing, I was doing in the flesh, without the Holy Spirit to help me because I was not asking for His help. I was doing everything on my own, in my own power, which is to say, without power. 

“You do not have because you do not ask God.” James 4:2 

Once I committed to daily Bible study and prayer, I began to work out my own salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12). I began to learn things about the Bible, about my faith, about Christ that I could not have dreamed of. I began to see things in the Bible that I had never seen before. I have read the Bible many times in my walk with the Lord, but I began to read and see things as if it were for the very first time. Jesus was revealing things to me that I was not able to see or discern before. I am learning. I am growing. And like the Apostle Paul, I strive for what lies ahead in Christ Jesus. 

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14 

Each day we live is another opportunity to learn and become more like Him. Don’t waste it.  

To God be the Glory. Forever and ever. Amen